It's All In A Name
by cajunhusker
Summary: Claiming a name had been his only e mayhem he caused from that was unbelievable, when he was searching for something that he couldn't name. It left a trail of blood behind him, across the Rukon districts.A sword biting against his skin, the warmth of the blood he spilled, was what gave him life in those days as he tried to figure out what he was missing.(Character Study)


Growing up without a name had left him to grow up without feelings. Without family. Without others.

Claiming a name had been his only priority. The mayhem he caused from that was unbelievable, when he was searching for something that he couldn't name. It left a trail of blood behind him, across the Rukon districts. A sword biting against his skin, the warmth of the blood he spilled, was what gave him life in those days as he tried to figure out what he was missing.

It was how he found Yachiru. The young girl that had also been searching for a name. That helped him figure out what he was searching for.

And the only person he had met in a long time that wasn't afraid of him.

A small pink haired girl that found the color of blood fascinating rather than terrifying. That found the chaos he had created fascinating instead of fearful. That found the edge of his sword funny instead of full of death.

It was how he figured out he was looking for a name, in the fact that she didn't have one either. It filled some of that hole to name her and to in turn name himself. A small hole filled the giant one as he searched for the feelings that everyone else seemed to have. The girl perched on his shoulder most of the time with spiritual pressure that wouldn't cower in front of his own.

Now, he wasn't alone.

He worked his way through the ranks, claiming the seat of captain of the Eleventh Squad. Yachiru followed easily, claiming the position of lieutenant underneath him.

It wasn't exactly the easiest time, but it brought more opponents his way that were actually worth fighting. Sometimes, they could manage to cut him, though rarely enough to feel like more than a papercut.

But it brought the feelings that he had been so desperately searching for in the Rukon districts. The joy and thrill of having real opponents and the companionship from Yachiru. Occasionally, Ikkaku and Yumichika gave him some friendship as well, but never quite the care he felt for the girl that had travel with him for decades, her aging slowed as she became a Shinigami with him.

Then he met Ichigo.

The man that could cut him like paper, make his blood sing in battle… That made his heart pump to do more than just protect and kill. Pushed him to want to be better and fill the last of that hole in his heart.

Laying on top of a building with Yachiru at his side, this was the first time since they had joined the Court Guard Squads that he felt the thrill of being here. The admiration of another individual. And a reason to keep going outside of his next fight and keeping Yachiru safe.

Thinking back to how they met… The number of clouds in the sky, the blood that surrounded them, and her ridiculous pink hair. It was the day that stuck out to him most in his memory. Giving a name to someone else.

He carefully lifted what was left of his sword as he examined it.

"I'd forgotten what it's like to not have a name," he said, voice exhausted as he looked up at the unnamed weapon. So many others had names for their zanpakto, but he had never understood. Never been good at listening. "Think I can learn its name too?"

Yachiru hummed quietly beside him. "You should give it one, Ken-chan! Just like you gave me one. And you one. And then, you'll learn to trust them too," she offered softly, voice bright as she sat down next to him. "It worked well for us. They'll tell you everything in time."

Kenpachi huffed at her, looking up at the sword. Maybe later then. They had more battles to get through until he could find a name for something so important in his life. Slowly, he lowered it to his side, hand still wrapped around the hilt.

"Wake me in a few hours, kid. Unless Kursoaki's gonna die. Need him to live for at least another day." The Fourth Squad was probably already on their way. He'd fight again in the morning…

For now, he just needed to rest and focus on the new spark that the kid had lit inside him. The first inklings that he could be even more than he was now, just like Kurosaki could be more than a teenage punk.

His slowly closed, letting out a sigh as he felt like he was sinking into the ground. He could feel Yachiru settle down next to him, a warm spot against his side. A comfort that he had never thought he would be able to have out in the Rukon districts.

A family and a reason to live.

A reason to be better... A reason to keep pushing so that he could show others he was more than just a brute from the lowest of the districts. A gruff man that finally had a name and a reason to give others names. He was tired of being empty.

The hand that surrounded his sword slowly warmed, the pressure of someone else enveloping him.

Alone wasn't a word he would know again.

The blood that was spilled today was worth more than he would realize.


End file.
